No I'm not going to start talking about how bumpin' Drake's song, "God's plan" is... although it is a bumpin' song. I'm talking about how God's plan for you may not be what you imagined and how sometimes your plan C may be His plan A. There's a quote that I've heard over and over again that says "If you wanna make God laugh, tell Him your plans". The older I get, the more this quote humors me.
I wish I could say I was one of those people who were just "chill" and just went "with the flow", but nope. I have always had a "plan" for my life, what I'm going to do, and how it's all going to go down. Ex: By this age, I'm going to be doing this and that and have this and that. After reading that previous sentence, I realize it seems silly and borderline control freak, but that's how I always was... until I started college.
First of all, I never imagined I would even be attending UT Austin considering my top choice of school was in San Antonio (which I was actually rejected from LOL). I didn't picture myself majoring in public health, ending up in love with it, and traveling to Honduras for a medical missions trip. Since college began, it's been day by day just learning to let go of what MY plans are for me and just trust in what God has for me. I experienced so much freedom when I gave up MY idea of my future and what I want and how it should play it. Sure, did 17 year old younger me plan on taking a gap year after graduating college and moving back home? Nope, but here I am...a little over a year after graduation-- content and grateful.
It took a while to write this post, because I had so much to process, pray, and reflect about. I had to learn to be comfortable with where I'm at in my life and where God has placed me instead of faking to be okay with it and pretending like everything is sunshine and rainbows. This is going to sound so cliché, but taking a gap year was really important to my personal and spiritual growth. It really opened my eyes to the world around me, made me realize what matters the most, and what life is like outside of academia. Most importantly, God re-centered my focus on who I am in Him. I am more than just my successes and my failures or everything in between, because I am a child of God.
This gap year had it's fair share of ups and downs, but I would not trade it for anything else. In this season of my life, God showed me the importance of rest. I feel like today's society emphasizes hustling and grinding 24/7 (which isn't bad because yes you do have to hustle and grind to get what you want), but rest or "taking a break" seems to be seen as counterproductive. It is almost as if you should always be hustling or be busy busy busy or stressed out because that's the norm now. Rest is almost seen as a bad thing...something that is frowned upon, that you almost feel bad for taking a break, but let's not forget that even God rested too. All the times I felt bad or less than because I was just home, working full-time and resting, I had to remind myself that there are seasons in life where it is time to rest. After all, I really did feel burnt out from being a super busy pre-med at UT and this season of rest was honestly refreshing.
As I stated before, throughout my time in college I fell more in love with public health and after working full-time at a primary care physician's office (separate blog post coming soon), I realized I also wanted to obtain an MPH (Master's of Public Health) along with an MD/DO. Whether that meant applying to a dual degree program or obtaining an MPH after becoming a physician, I knew deep down that I desired it. In the back of my head though, I always asked "how would it fit into my plan??" After all, med school is already another 4 years + residency. Am I really going to be in school forever? Why would I add another 2 years of school when I could just add 1 more during a dual degree program? But.. like I said, sometimes your plan C is God's plan A. With that said, I am excited to announce that I am going to be a graduate student at TAMUHSC pursuing an MPH in Health Promotion and Community Health!!
Although I wanted to go straight into medical school right after graduating college, God clearly had other plans for me and I am okay with that. I encourage myself with Ephesians 3:20 (MSG) - "God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." I don't know about you, but that gets me excited because I have huge dreams for myself and I can't even imagine what God has in store for me. Although I don't always understand His plans, I trust Him enough to know that it's going to be amazing. So whatever plans or dreams you have for yourself, just know that God's plans for you are even greater.
On that note, Gig 'Em for now, but Hook 'Em forever!! Here's to adding three more letters after my name and following me on this crazy, non-traditional pre-med journey of mine.
The girl with upside down dimples