They say that your 20's are your "selfish years" and that you should work really hard so you can reap your benefits when you're older. The first time I heard that statement, I wasn't bothered by it, but now that I'm 21 and a senior in college, I can finally understand why people say it. I'm a senior in college now and I feel like time is moving even faster than it has the past three years. Although I can relate and want to work hard for not only myself but also for my family during my 20's, I don't want to be someone who live such a selfish life. I don't want to always put my needs above everything else. I don't want to be so self-absorbed with everything going on in my life that I forget to help or love those around me.
Don't get me wrong, I've had that mentality of "I'm gonna do me and put MY needs above everyone else's". It was fine for a while, but then it didn't satisfy me anymore. There is a difference between self-care and knowing when to say no, so I'm not saying that you shouldn't say no once in a while, but It's just so easy to get caught up in yourself in today's society. Especially in college, I feel like I've encountered so many people that are only looking out for themselves and it's hard not to get caught up in that mentality. I mean we're all selfish in a way because we're only human, but I can't help but think about how Jesus did it. He ultimately sacrificed His life for us AND He lived such a selfless life that was so full of love. He served those around Him, not only those who loved Him but also those who hated Him. I was reminded of this verse in Philippians 2:4 that says:
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Like most of the verses I've read, it's easier said than done.
Reading that made me feel good, but do I even really practice it?
It's so hard considering that we're all so busy all the time. The free time that I do have, I just want to be by myself or relax and enjoy it alone, not go out of my way to help someone. I also want to be able to be selfless and give to people without waiting for something back. There are times when I'm like "Okay I did this for you and I was there for you what are you going to do for me?" Obviously I don't say that to anyone's face, but it's something that I have thought about before.
Then I realize.. what if Jesus was like that? "Hey Nicole, I gave my life for you...so what do you have to give me in return?" I would literally have nothing to offer back. There are plenty of times where I just run to Jesus about my problems without even thanking Him. I will never be able to give back everything that He has given and done for me, yet He chooses to love me regardless. So why should I expect something back from others? I want to be on that level of selflessness and loving others that I can happily choose to serve them with a happy heart.
I want my last year here at UT to not be a year of selfishness and "doing me", but I want to be selfless. I want to give back to my community, to my friends, to those around me and especially to my family who sacrificed so much so I can be here. Yes I want to be a doctor so I can give back in that way, but I might as well start with what I have now and with those surrounding me.