12/16/2018 0 Comments Gap year part 1I think it's crazy how it has been 7 months since I graduated! So much has changed, but I am trying to enjoy every minute of it. I moved away from Austin and am back home with my family. I am currently working full time at a private doctor's office and am really enjoying it, regardless of how crazy busy it is. During my time back home, my eyes were really opened to how much I missed my family during my time in college. Currently, my sister is a senior in high school, so I am vicariously re-living my senior year through her. She is way busier than I ever was though, so it has been interesting. My biggest takeaway these past couple of months is to really live in the present. I know that sounds really cheesy, but I tend to stress over the future and often find myself dwelling on the past. I forget to really be present and enjoy what is in front of me, so I am doing my best to enjoy my time with family while we're all under one roof again. I am doing my best to cultivate my friendships and working on improving myself in every aspect-- physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am also learning to keep my peace and put my whole complete trust in the Lord and His plans for me. It is easier said than done, but I believe that His timing is truly perfect. Who am I to tell Him how my whole life is going to play out? Yes, it is uneasy at times to not always have the answers when people ask me what my future holds or other stress-triggering questions, but at the end of the day, I realized I do not have to answer to anyone but Him AND I have my amazing support system to cheer me on and encourage me. During this time, I have also learned not to compare myself to others. There were multiple instances where I deleted my social media accounts for a while just to take a break because I often found myself comparing my life to others' lives. I started to shift my focus away from God and what He has done in my life and started focusing on the things I was lacking. There were times where I was disappointed and frustrated at myself because taking a gap year wasn't my "ideal" plan right after college. However, God is SO good and faithful. Once I started to shift my focus on myself and comparing my life to others' and instead, focusing on Him, I became more content and truly realized how blessed I really am. There is a song by Hillsong United called "Not In A Hurry" and I really feel that it describes my life motto right now. The lyrics go: "Lord, I don’t want to rush on ahead In my own strength When You’re right here. I’m not in a hurry When it comes to Your spirit When it comes to Your presence When it comes to Your voice I’m learning to listen Just to rest in Your nearness I’m starting to notice You are speaking" I really don't want to be a hurry with my life plans or where I think I should be versus where I am right now. I don't want to be in a hurry and do things my own way, but not feel His presence or listen to His voice. As someone who was constantly busy in high school and undergrad, this season of resting has been new and to be honest, at times...uncomfortable. However, I think we all go through seasons where it is time to rest and just really listen to the Lord speaking and enjoy His presence. After all, what more could I ask for? Philippians 1:6 says "And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" and I don't know about you, but that makes me excited. Let me share about my little adventures at home! Like I said, I have been able to watch my sister thrive during her senior year, but also be able to cheer her on during her MANY school endeavors like band, choir, and college apps. Our family also went to a really cute pumpkin patch this year, so we braved the heat and attempted to take some cute fall IG worthy pics. It has also been really great that I had a chance to actually be there during my parents' birthdays and celebrate with them since usually when I was in college, I would go home during the weekend after or before their birthday. I've also had a chance to try many different food places here and let me tell you, they did not disappoint!! My friends and I tried a Korean restaurant called Mong Chon and it was soo good!! They even gave out a Yakult (Korean yogurt smoothie) after our meal. I ordered a beef bulgogi that came with lots of sides and it was delicious! Side note - I haven't really had much Korean food though so I don't really have anything to compare it to. I also ended up finding this super cute diner called Hullabaloo Diner and if you watch Riverdale, it looks like Pop's inside! My sister loves Riverdale, so she had a really fun time taking pictures there. Their chocolate shake has been my favorite in town so far! In September, I had a chance to attend my first (and probably last hahah) Aggie football game!! They played ULM and won 48-10. I was clearly their lucky charm, duh. Hahaha. t was super fun and really interesting just because they had soo many traditions and different chants and I felt like I was watching the people more than the game...oops. The friend I went with though was really patient and answered all the questions I had about all their traditions, so I learned a lot that day too! Obviously it was different than the previous UT games I've been to before, but I really didn't know what to expect. It was still really cool though and I had a lot of fun and it was definitely a memorable experience! It was my first Halloween back home and my dreams of handing out candy to the neighborhood kids were crushed because it was POURING that day! I still had a chance to dress up with my coworkers though as the Pink Ladies from Grease which was fun! I also FINALLY watched Grease for the first time! As soon as I got home, my dogs, cat and I all dressed up as cowboys and let me tell y'all...we were CUTE. I was able to hand out candy to a few kids after the rain calmed down a bit, but we did have sooo much leftover candy. I wasn't feeling too well during Thanksgiving, but having delicious food cooked by my amazing parents helped!! Since it's always just us four during Thanksgiving, we also had family friends come to eat and celebrate, which is always fun. I ate my way into a food coma and it was amazing. We had homemade pandesal (Filipino rolls), Pancit palabok aka my FAVORITE (Filipino noodles), bbq, turkey and lechon (roasted pig). For dessert we had Filipino dessert called puto, suman (rice cake) and pecan pie baked by mom! Being home meant having more opportunities to catch up with old family friends and friends which I have really enjoyed especially when there was food involved. I have also met some really wonderful and awesome people that became my really good friends! It's been so great not having to study or write lab reports, but my favorite part has to be the different people I've met and became friends with. Everyone came from different walks of life and it's just so interesting learning about each of them and hearing their stories. The end of the year is always my favorite because of the holidays and because Christmas time is my favorite time of the year!! My life group at church went to Lights of Tejas which was really cool and very family friendly. You can buy tickets for $30 that includes a s'mores package, dinner, a hay ride, and two activities! The activity we chose was ziplining and it was really fun, but also kind of scary because you just kind of have to jump off the ledge yourself. Overall, it was a really fun experience and I totally recommend going with a group or with your family! The Brazos Valley Filipino-American community held their annual Christmas party and this year's theme was Hawaiian Texas Christmas! It was so cute seeing everyone dressed up in Hawaiian-type of clothing even though it was super cold outside. We had a great turnout this year and like always, the Filipino food was great and there was lots of dancing and laughter! My mom even ended up winning a raffle prize. My friend from Austin even came down to learn about our culture and try different flavors of Filipino food, so that was exciting! Not trying to end on a sad note, but one of the most difficult things to happen to me recently was losing my first dog Raffy. It was so heartbreaking seeing him go, but I am glad he is no longer in pain and I know he is running around in doggie heaven! Enjoy this photo of us laughing at something I said because I am hilarious :-) I am truly blessed to be where I am at today and am enjoying my gap year a lot more than I would. It has been nice to just relax and rest and surround myself with the most important people in my life. I have been able to read more (blog post later on that) and help my family around the house aka wash dishes b/c washing dishes is fun (no sarcasm for real). I'm trying to learn how to cook, especially Filipino food so hopefully I can write more blog posts on that, but to be honest... I'm not that great and my mom's a REALLY good chef so I mean why bother learning right? Kidding. I'm going to try to make blogging more of a priority so if you have any requests, please don't hesitate to let me know!
That's all for now. Sincerely, Nicole aka the girl with upside down dimples
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10/3/2018 0 Comments It's more Fun in the PhilippinesThis past July, my family and I took a vacation to visit our homeland, the Philippines! It was our longest vacation to the Philippines yet, since we spent 27 days there. This blog post isn't really going to be dedicated towards family pictures, but towards showcasing the beauty of the Philippines and showing off places to visit. I highly recommend visiting the Philippines because Filipino culture provides warm hospitality to all, it's relatively cheap to visit compared to other places, and it is just beautiful. If you ever need a tour guide/translator while you're there, don't hesitate to let me know ;) For my graduation present, I wanted to take a trip to the famous El Nido, Palawan, which is a popular tourist hotspot. It's funny that my family and I are from the Philippines, but we haven't been to the "picturesque" beaches that the Philippines is known for. We were there for a total of three nights and four days. Since it was monsoon season when we visited, the Philippine Coast Guard actually shut down the island tours until our last day there, so we were able to take a private tour before catching our flight at 4 pm! Usually most tourists pay for a package tour (Tour A, B, C, etc.), but since we were trying to catch our flight, we hired a private boat that showed us tour A, which was mostly island hopping. The tour packages include lunch on the boat, but since ours was private, we had to provide our own food. All in all, we saved some money by doing the private tour, but also we were able to catch our flight since the public tours are basically a whole day event (from 9-5). Our tour guide brought us to the Small and Big Lagoon and Shimizu Island. The regular tour A included more, but since we were on a time crunch, we decided to pass it. At the Small Lagoon, we were able to rent a kayak and explore by kayaking around the area. It was breathtaking. After the Small Lagoon, we saw the Big Lagoon and that's where we had our lunch break! Most boats are too big to enter the Big Lagoon, so people usually kayak to see the rest of it, but since our boat was smaller, we were able to go inside! Our final stop was Shimizu Island where we had a chance to go snorkeling!! I have never been snorkeling before, so I was pretty excited. Our tour guide showed us areas to go and I was able to look at some of the fishies and the pretty corral. Not gonna lie, I was seeing "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid the whole time. It was incredible seeing God's creations and I didn't even realize that my back got sunburned during that time. My family and I were praying that we were able to go do the island tours before we left since the tours were shut down the entire time we were there, but God is so faithful and I'm so glad that we were able to go during our last day!! During our first three days, we went exploring at their market, bought lots of fish, visited their most popular beaches, and ate lots of food at the restaurants nearby! On our first full day, we visited Las Cabanas beach and enjoyed some fresh coconuts that were priced at 200 pesos each (~$4), at the market they were about 100 pesos. It was such a relaxing day and we ate at this restaurant (whoops sorry I forgot the name), by the beach which was nice. We even met some people who were from Texas (small world) because they saw my dad and I wearing our Texas Longhorn and Aggie hats. Hahah. The hotel we stayed at we booked while we were still in the U.S., which I highly recommend because they fill up pretty fast especially during summer. We stayed at a room that had four single beds lined up which was interesting, but the staff members were nice and there was complimentary breakfast every day!! There were so many foreigners and it was so cool hearing the different languages when we were eating breakfast. The view from our room was also breathtaking as there was a giant mountain right behind us. We also had a chance to go to Nacpan Beach which involved a really bumpy and muddy tricycle drive. The ride was worth the wait though, as it was also beautiful. We just played in the waves the entire day since the tides were very strong. Overall, El Nido lived up to the hype! I wish it wasn't monsoon season when we visited, but I'm still very thankful I had a chance to check this off my bucket list. I definitely recommend it to anyone, especially if you love beaches! I definitely will be returning and hopefully with some friends next time! The rest of our Philippines trip involved visiting family and friends and a little bit of sightseeing around Luneta Park and Venice Grand Canal Mall. We spent a lot of time in my mom's hometown, a province, in Nueva Ecija. Luneta Park, or Rizal Park, is a historical urban park in Manila, Philippines. It's free except certain areas if you want to visit. It's definitely a popular spot for couples and cats (aka my favorite). At night it's really pretty because they turn on the lights! My family and our friends went on a train ride around Luneta Park which was fun because you had a chance to see the whole area. I forgot how much it costs, but it was only a couple of dollars I think. In Taguig City, we visited the Venice Grand Canal. It was soo pretty and we went right before closing so we missed the gondola ride ($15/person), but it was a nice place to walk around and pretend that we were in Italy! They were playing Phantom of the Opera and my sister sang along. We hoped that our next family vacation would be in Italy! The Venice Grand Canal was definitely a family friendly place to hangout and there are plenty of food and dessert areas. I want to visit again, but not during the nighttime! So before I talk about the province, I want to talk about this really awesome food area (sorry I forgot the name again haha) that we went to on our last night in the Philippines. We went with some of our childhood family friends and it was so unique because of the way everything was setup. The lights were so pretty and there was a giant fountain in the middle and lots of outdoor seating area. There were different food truck options that had desserts to different types of foods! We literally ate so much that night and everything was so delicious and the halo halo was YUMMY. My mom is from the province and my dad is from the city, but since we have a house in the province, we spent a lot of time there. We would go to our family's farm and pick mangoes, guavas, and bananas and see the different animals. It's a nice change of pace from the city in the Philippines, but also here in Texas since we live in the city. It's definitely different staying in the province when we're in the Philippines because our house doesn't have wifi or even a TV, so it was a nice way to unplug and just really enjoy a simple life. My sister and I would help my mom clean the roof by removing birds' nests and every morning we would wake up at like 7-8 am and have breakfast together as a family. My parents would wake up extra early and buy pandesal (Filipino bread) and my sister and I would walk with our mom to the palenke (market) to buy food for the day. It's definitely different from my life in the U.S, but it is such an eye opening experience and it makes me wonder what my life would be like if we never moved to Texas. It's also really cool seeing the area where my mom grew up and went to school, and since it's a small province, people knew my family which made me feel really welcome. One of my favorite parts of visiting the motherland is the food. The fast food portions are way smaller than in the U.S, which is something we got used to, but nevertheless, my family ate lots of Jollibee (a Filipino multinational fast food chain that serves amazing chicken) while we were there. There's one in Houston, btw if you're from the area or if you're visiting. I always eat so much every time we visit the Philippines, but I really did a lot more this time around, but I never really took pictures of the food. My mom cooks Filipino food for us everyday, but there are some foods that we just don't eat unless there's a special occasion, so it's always nice to come home and eat everything! Eating out at restaurants in the Philippines is also a LOT cheaper. Our family of four would eat at a restaurant and we would spend maybe like $30-$40 vs. way more when eating out in Texas. *sigh* The first photo below is at a buffet in Cabanatuan City called Yaki Mix where they had a Korean BBQ style area, but they also had lots of other types of food! They were doing a special on your birth month so I got to eat free if I brought three guests! The second photo is from a restaurant somewhere in Clark and the left dish is Sisig (Filipino dish made from parts of pig head and liver, usually seasoned with calamansi and chili peppers) and the right dish is chicken wings (b/c they're my favorite)! My ultimate favorite Filipino dessert is Halo halo (pronounced ha-loh ha-loh not halo halo). Halo halo is a popular Filipino cold dessert that is layered with ice, sweetened beans, fruits, evaporated milk and ice cream! Every place I went to, I ordered Halo halo which started my quest on finding the ultimate halo halo ever. It's literally the best thing ever and we rarely eat it at home because it takes forever to make. The best one I tried was probably from the food truck we went to called Halo Halo Island. Overall, I had an amazing time visiting the motherland. It's always great to see family and friends, but also great to look back to where my family is from & enjoy our culture. I am excited to visit again and I hope you enjoyed a glimpse of one of the most beautiful places in the world. I'm a proud Filipina-American, and visiting the Philippines this summer just continued to fan the flame for my love of my culture, our food, and all our people.
If you have any questions about my trip, feel free to email me or message me on here! 8/4/2018 2 Comments HONDURAS MEDICAL MISSION TRIPThis past June I went on my first medical missions trip to Honduras! I am SO grateful for everyone who donated to my trip, shared my Facebook posts, bought shirts and prayed for me. My heart is truly fulI from God's goodness and His provision. I went with CompassionLink, a team filled with amazing healthcare providers, missionaries and pastors. It sounds super cliche, but it was truly a life-changing trip and it really opened my eyes to the physical and spiritual needs of God's children around the world, but especially the Miskito people in Honduras. *The photos in this post are taken by our talent teammate, Aaron Davis, btw. I have personal photos on here too, but you can definitely tell which ones are mine. I made so many beautiful new friends and had a chance to practice my Spanish... or well I got really good at saying "Hello my name is Nicole and I speak and understand a little bit of Spanish". Hahah. It did help that lots of Spanish words are Tagalog words and since I speak Tagalog, I had somewhat of an advantage. I did learn a lot of Spanish medical terms though and I intend on being conversational when I return! It was definitely a physically intense trip considering we were on a bus for a total of 12 hours and on a dugout canoe for about 26 hours. We slept on floors in our mosquito nets, shared tubs of water for our "showers" and took "redneck showers" (wiping yourself with baby wipes & praying that you don't smell as bad b/c you're drenched in baby wipes) when we had a chance. There were times where I couldn't sleep b/c I felt so disgusting and times where I fell asleep within minutes because of exhaustion... BUT if I could do it all over again, I would. As much as I desired the comforts of my bed, a hot shower and air conditioning, I would give it all up if it meant I could serve God's beautiful children. I went with three other XA students on this trip, Dalena (who I was friends with at UT), Amanda (from Iowa) and Braeden (from Arkansas)! I learned so much with them since Dr. Honderick would give us case studies while we were on the boat. It's pretty safe to say we became fast friends with the amount of time we spent together. We played games on the boat and Braeden became a victim of our relationship questions, since us girls (mostly me), wanted to see things from a guys' perspective. I really loved this trip because if you know me, you know my two passions-- Jesus and medicine. I LOVED being able to observe the healthcare providers and help provide care to the patients, but I also LOVED how we were able to pray for each of them afterward. It really reminded me how God's love knows no boundaries and doesn't need translation. It was so beautiful. We had a total of five clinics in the villages: Krausirpi, Pimienta, Kurpa, and Wampusirpi. The other students and I would switch out on rotations -- medical, dental, optical and pharmacy. We did each rotation at least once and the rest we just chose where we wanted to go.. so you know I spent most of my time in medical. I did gain a new appreciation for dental though, considering I have an aunt and a grandma who are dentists. I still do not think it's for me, but I had so much fun/cringed a lot when they pulled teeth. I got to give out stickers though to the brave kids who went through with it! I think some of my favorite moments though, were hanging out with the kids. I got to give them candy and stickers and even showed them how to put on a sticker (I stuck it on my face and started a trend). We even painted nails which I am terrible at, but it was so much fun! There were many moments where I had to fight back tears because of how overwhelmed I was. I was overwhelmed by God's love for them and how he is capable of using someone like me to serve and love on them. On the Sunday service, I was able to give my testimony, which was translated by Pastor Randy. I really didn't want to cry, but I always end up crying when I give my testimony because God's goodness and love just overwhelms me. So I guess you can add Honduras to the list of countries I have cried at!! Hahah. In all seriousness though, it was an honor to be able to give my testimony to everyone in the church and I am so grateful to have had that opportunity. I was terrified, but when Pastor Randy asked who wanted to share, I immediately said yes. I mean it's not everyday you have a chance to share what God has done in your life in another country so... go big or go home. Every day we ate beans and tortillas or rice and it is safe to say I devoured my food each time it was time to eat. I am so grateful for the ladies who spent HOURS cooking for us and would wake up at like 2 am just to make us food. I'm not a picky eater so I loved everything that we ate, but it's safe to say I am taking a break from beans for a while. I did buy some of their chocolate and it was SOO good. I love sweets, but their chocolate wasn't even THAT sweet which made it even better. We would go to bed each day around 8:30-9 pm and get up between 6-6:30 am. If only my life was like that in the U.S. *sigh* During our free day we had a chance to explore the village of Wampusirpi with the kids and try the different types of chips they had. Walking around the village reminded me so much of the farm areas of the Philippines. We even took a tour of their health clinic and my inner public health nerd got to see some of their health posters which were really neat. I realized I didn't take as many pictures as I should have, but I was just too busy taking it in... or my phone was dead. Haha. I tried to absorb and remember everything because I was just so grateful to be there. I remember asking God to let me go on this trip after refreshing the CompassionLink page so many times and seeing one that was open for students and I couldn't believe it actually became a reality. So, from the bottom of my heart... I just wanted to say THANK YOU again to everyone who helped make this trip possible. My life is forever changed for it and I have y'all to thank for that. This was my first medical mission trip, but it definitely won't be the last!! My love for medicine grew on this trip and so did my love for Jesus and His people + I realized I look really great in scrubs, so why not? I amazed myself by how much I could endure physically, emotionally and spiritually and how I take so much for granted when I'm back home. I am so blessed and grateful to be in a country where even though the healthcare system is broken, I still have access to it. I can only hope and pray that one day healthcare would be seen as a right and not a privilege, so that people like the Miskitas can have better access to health. To my teammates and new friends, I miss y'all very much! Y'all became my family during this trip and I adopted each one of you as my own. Each of you are truly amazing people and I have learned so much from each of you. Thanks for impacting my life + accepting my friend requests.
Sincerely, The girl with upside down dimples 5/14/2018 1 Comment a senior's letter to utI promise this isn't a break up letter, but more of a thank you letter. Dear UT Austin, I graduate in 4 days and with finals over, I can finally reflect on my time at the Forty Acres. First and foremost, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for the memories these past four years. It hasn't always been the best, but I can honestly say I wouldn't want to experience these past four years anywhere else. Thank you for bringing closer to my family and making me appreciate them more. I never realized how many things I took for granted that my parents did for me until I started college. Thank you for making me realize how important it is to have such a strong support back home and for making me realize how blessed I am to have parents that support with me in whatever career choice I pursue and the path I choose to take there. This degree is for not only me, but for my parents. This is for the sacrifices that they made to move here to the U.S. so that my sister and I can have more opportunities. Yes, I'm a proud daughter of two hardworking Filipino immigrants and I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Thank you UT for making my relationship and faith in God even stronger. These past four years, I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I have fallen in and out of love. I have experienced tremendous losses and unforgettable memories, yet I know that whatever my circumstance is...my God is still good. There were many times where I would question why certain things that would happen in my life, on campus, in the U.S. and the world and ask God why? Why would these things happen? I may not know all the answers and yes things may not always be sunshines and rainbows, but I know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Thank you UT for making me appreciate diversity. I was the only one from my graduating high school class from a small town to attend UT during our first year of college and so many people were worried for me. They were worried because the Austin "culture" is so different, that they were too "liberal" and that I was going to become a wild child. At UT, I met so many amazing people from all walks of life-- from different backgrounds, ethnicities and political/religious views. Coming here definitely opened my eyes to appreciate diversity and how we can co-exist if we just all learn how to respect each other and be a little less selfish. I also definitely gained a new appreciation of different cultures, languages and especially food. Coming to UT made me realize I wasn't just going to be identified as "the asian", but to be able to embrace all of who I am. Yes I am a Filipina, but I am more than just that. Thank you UT for the amazing, wonderful and passionate people I got to meet because I chose you. Each person I have encountered here in the past four years have truly amazed me. From my first college experience at Summer Bridge to classmates, lab partners, roommates and everyone in between, I am truly amazed by everyone I have encountered. Thank you for my friends turned family. My friends who have stayed up studying with me, went on spontaneous food runs with me, to those who have ever made me food, cried with me, laughed with me, to my friends who continually pray for me and encourage me. I am so grateful for each one of them. I am grateful that they were able to do life for me these past four years and I am so excited to see how each of them continue to chase after their dreams. Thank you UT for helping me find my communities that shaped me to who I am today. Thank you for the Summer Bridge program for allowing me to jump start my college career and giving me people to grow with. Thank you for the Texas Interdisciplinary Program (TIP) Scholars which brought me some of my best friends today. Thank you TIP for the unlimited printing, the reserved seats in classes, the study groups and the extraordinary TIP fam you have brought to my life. Thank you for Longhorn Chi Alpha. Thank you for the spiritual community that I was blessed to be a part of my past four years. Thank you for the spiritual leaders in my life and the friends that were able to keep me accountable and push me towards God. Thank you for the small groups, the wonderful girls and the new siblings (especially brothers) I have gained. Thank you Longhorn XA fam for the reminders that despite of everything, God is in control. Thanks for chasing God and running after Him with me. Thank you UT for bringing me Texas Public Health. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to serve this tiny, but mighty organization with my dedicated friends. I was able to make new friends and develop friendships where we were all passionate about different aspects of public health whether it'd be policy, nutrition, global health or medicine. Thanks for giving me friends that can endure the classes with me and understand my struggles within those classes. Thanks for teaching me dedication and a new understanding of the term "hard work pays off". Thanks UT for giving me the courage to chase after my dreams and serve my community. I am grateful for the opportunity to have been able to serve at People's Community Clinic. It was an eye-opening experience that showed me what working at a non-profit was like and the current state of the healthcare system of the U.S. is. I'm thankful for the compassionate volunteers and supervisors that I spent time with serving. Thank you for the laughs and memories and turning my "volunteering" experience to something that I looked forward to every week. Okay last thing. Thank you UT for the late nights at the PCL/Union/NHB, the tears, the struggles and everything in between. I would be lying if I said there weren't times where my friends and I would joke that we should've attended an easier university or dropped out. Because of these hard times and struggles though, I was able to grow tremendously these past four years--- physically (LOL jk even though I did start lifting weights in college), emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
I have not only learned so much about myself, but I also learned so much more about taking care of my mental health. I learned to just take it one day at a time because that's all you can really do. As they say, if you can get into UT, you can certainly get out. May 19th, I'm ready for you. Sincerely Soon-to-be-a-Texas Ex, The girl with upside down dimples P.S. I'm still really upset that transcripts are $20 each btw. Come on man. 4/8/2018 0 Comments identityIdentity means "the distinguishing character or personality of an individual" according to merriam-webster.com. I mean most people can tell you the definition of identity, but what does it actually mean? When I was growing up, I attended a church that preached and drilled that our identity should be found in Jesus, not in anything else. At a point, it kind of got redundant... but little did I know that the seeds planted in me would grow into a tree that I would run to for cover.
In high school, I considered what I did and what I accomplished my identity. I was a theatre kid who was always at rehearsals and loved performing... the girl who was the top 10% of her class and that was it. I was the "good girl" who went to church weekly and I was one of the four Asian students in my grade, so of course I would make excuses and say, "Is it because I'm Asian?" I never thought anything of it, it was just who I labeled myself to be or maybe it was who people labeled me to be or both. Fast-forward to college, where my major and what degree I was pursuing became my new identity. I mean how could it not be? As a freshman (or frankly when you meet people in college), you would state your name, major, and hometown. I became Nicole, Medical Laboratory Science major (later changed to Public Health), pre-med, and you know Blue Bell ice cream? Yeah, my hometown makes it!! That's been my identity all throughout college more or less. But what happens when you go through an identity crisis? I was the cream of the top in high school and I felt like I was on top of everything I did. In college, however, especially at UT... classes were more challenging and grades mattered even more since after all, my goal was to get into medical school. What happens when I would do my very best, yet I felt like I was letting myself and my family down? I tried to find my identity in what I did, the grades I received or what career I was pursuing...but frankly it was never satisfying. I knew deep down there was more. This couldn't be it. I refused to accept that my identity lied in all those things. There had to be more to my identity than just that. One day I was driving to school and was listening to a podcast from Bethel Church in Redding, California. Pastor Bill Johnson was speaking on identity and he said: “I can’t afford to have a thought about me in my head that He doesn’t have in His head about me. Any time it entertains things that are not absolutely true and central in His perspective about me then I’m visiting something that will war against what He thinks about me". What he said resonated in my spirit. All of those thoughts that I had about not feeling good enough or qualified enough to reach my goals and dreams was nonsense because God doesn't think those things about me. I realized I had to change my perspective on how I viewed myself and what my identity is. I needed to focus on what God thought about me and what my identity is in Him. Psalm 139:13 says "For your created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I am not sure who I heard it from, but I remember them saying that each of us is a God dream. He dreamt about each one of us when He created us--- every.single.detail. This verse amazes me because the God of the universe who created the stars, moon and the planets knit me together and not only that, but I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I do not want to worry about what others say or think about me, what I think about myself or what I identify with overcome me. I do not want my identity to be found in my achievements, my career path or my relationships. I choose to be His daughter, daughter of the most High King. I want that to be my first identity, the one I hold above the rest. So just in case you forget or get a little lost, remember who you are.. you are a child of God. It is never too late to call on Him and you are never too far gone. Yours truly, The girl with upside down dimples 2/25/2018 0 Comments Honduras or bustI saw this quote this summer that says "Be fearless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire". It got me thinking about things that set my soul on fire. The first things I could think of was Jesus, medicine, and public health. What better way to combine the things that set my soul on fire than going on a medical missions trip to Honduras this summer? With my last semester one-third of the way done, I have been reflecting on what the past couple of years at the Forty Acres have been like. I have always wanted to go on a medical missions trip and I didn't want to regret the opportunity of doing one so this summer, June 9th-21st, I am going to serve Honduras with CompassionLink. CompassionLink is a team of dedicated consultants who partner with missionaries and national churches to create and restore healthy communities. CompassionLink cares for the spiritual, emotional, and physical needs of individuals and communities. I have always been the girl to watch from the sidelines and to dream and hope that one day it would be MY turn to go, but the only thing stopping me was fear. Fear that I will not be capable enough or that I will not be able to afford to go on a medical missions trip. However, I will no longer let fear control me and I am stepping out in faith because I know that this is a part of my purpose. I was reminded of the verse Isaiah 41:10: "Fear not for I am with you." Although it's still hard not to fear sometimes, I am reminded that the Lord is with me and I shouldn't be afraid... because after all, I'm only saying yes and He is going to be glorified in all of this. I want to dedicate my life giving back to others. I want to serve them by providing treatment and educating them about disease-prevention. Most importantly, I want to show and tell the people of Honduras the love of God and how he is our ultimate Healer. I believe this is just a first step in my path towards my ultimate goal on impacting global health not only in Honduras, but Latin America and my home country, the Philippines. The total trip will cost around $1500 + airfare so we are approximating to raise around $2500. So far I have raised $455 and I am so grateful and blessed to have raised that amount in just two weeks. My first deadline is on March 16 where I will need to raise $1250. I am selling t-shirts (https://goo.gl/forms/IYoDhUyXq4LX5nx73), thanks to Fund the Nations, who helped me choose a design. Each shirt costs about $20 (it's about $8-$10 to make). I chose the verse, "For you shall go out in joy" from Isaiah 55:12 because the joy of the Lord is my strength and I want to share that with the world. I would greatly appreciate your help in making this trip happen. Any donation large or small will be greatly appreciated! I have seen God provide for my friends for their missions trips, so if He can do it for them, I know He certainly will do it for me. You can donate at: https://www.gofundme.com/upsidedowndimples or https://www.paypal.me/upsidedowndimples. Sincerely, The girl with upside down dimples |
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